Vladimir Putin Withdraws From Crimea

Apologises for invasion and pledges to work with Ukraine to develop democracy and co-operation.

Uganda Welcomes Gays

Repeals laws and pledges a clampdown on homophobia.

Iona Institute Disbands

“Frankly, we’ve been a bunch of dicks”, acknowledges David Quinn.

Saudi Arabia Permits Women Drivers

We’ll even allow them to be taxi drivers, pilots and anything else they want, announces Interior Ministry.

New York St Patrick’s Day Parade Committee Resigns

Next year’s parade to be wide open to all colours, creeds and inclinations, claims next year’s organisers.

Pope Announces Liberal Reform Measures

“Man, that contraceptive ban was way out of line. What were we thinking?”, says Pope Francis.

Alan Shatter Resigns.

Obviously.

Any more?