I’m finally back from my world travels, having flown a distance of 18,000 km in the past ten days. My travels took me to Texas and Germany with a short stop in London. It’s been quite an experience. I have learned many things, such as:
1) To be very careful when booking flights with British Airways. If you try to change your booking within 24 hours of travel (even if the reason is legitimate, such as a freakin’ snowstorm), they will do everything in their power to stonewall you. I arrived in at 7.30 am into Heathrow and when I tried to get an earlier flight to Stuttgart than the 18.45 flight I was booked on, I was met with indifferent shrugs, middle-distance stares and a definite feeling that I was the bad guy for even daring to ask. I was happy to travel on standby, but that option was shut down straight away. I’m pretty certain that neither of the two earlier flights to Stuttgart that Saturday left with a full complement of passengers, but how could that possibly be their problem? That would be penetrating the bureaucracy, now, wouldn’t it?
2) Texans (at least the ones I met) are mindbogglingly polite and helpful. You could go nowhere without a “Can I help you?” or an “I beg your pardon” coming from somewhere. I have to put in a special mention to the American Airlines ground staff in Austin, who worked from 4 am to 7 pm on Thursday to ensure that all their passengers were taken care of. Almost every flight to Dallas had been cancelled and stress levels were stratospheric, but nevertheless these people worked wonders while keeping their sense of humour intact.
3) German people speak to each other in lifts, even if they don’t know each other. Now that’s just plain weird. Elevators are designed to make you feel enormously self-conscious and inadequate. This talking thing just isn’t playing by the rules.
4) When flying there is only one true currency: access to an electric power outlet. The more gadgets we carry around, the fewer chances we have to recharge. Methinks books are very safe.
5) I can now sleep on transatlantic flights! Actually, I can sleep on all sorts of flights! All they need to do is turn on the engines and pfffft, I’m out. This can mean only one thing. I’m getting OLD.
Passive Impressions 
1) if the bureaucrats of the world ever unite, we’re in deep, deep trouble.
2) Texas is one of the US states that I would really rather like to visit. Politeness is a much underestimated quality.
3) I’ve just spent the last two weeks in email contact with a German client whose nitpicking ‘corrections’ to the text of our latest books is driving me to eat far too much chocolate (the only real alternative when one doesn’t drink). Were we in a lift together, I’d be seriously tempted to throttle her, so perhaps chatting is merely a way of gauging the other occupants’ aggression levels…?
4) Good. 😉
5) I wish I could. I can sleep anywhere BUT flights. Those seats are just so uncomfortable.
If the bureaucrats of the world ever unite, then that is truly a scary thought.. Don’t give them ideas!!
Turns out that the IRS building where the crank crashed his plane into a few days ago was just down the road from where we were staying..